Dating Dangerously
Three weeks before my senior prom, I asked my best friend to be my date. I was sure he had feelings for me and I wanted him to know that I returned them, and that I hoped that things would go farther....
View ArticleOn Identifying as a Feminist
[Snark Warning] It’s fashionable these days to align yourself with virtually every feminist cause but to shun the label “feminist.” It’s not “cool,” people protest. We don’t want to be associated with...
View ArticleOn Coercion and a Different Social Ethic
One of my favorite bloggers once wrote a post about the idea of “consent culture” as an alternative to rape culture. After describing various ways to help create a culture of consent surrounding sex,...
View ArticleOutraged Beyond Your Understanding: On Listening to Minority Voices
This whole Tosh thing is making me think about how, in our culture, we discuss problems that disproportionately affect a certain group of people. For example, one thing I noticed as I read as many...
View Article“Don’t Feed the Trolls”: Reexamining a Tired Maxim
Allow me to get meta here for a moment. I’ve noticed that a very common response to nasty internet comments is to repeat the mantra, “Don’t feel the trolls.” It’s become “common knowledge” that you...
View ArticleYou’re a Racist
And a sexist, and probably a homophobe, too. But it’s okay, so am I. In fact, research shows that almost everyone shows signs of prejudiced attitudes. The Implicit Association Test, a psychological...
View ArticleConsent Does Not “Ruin the Moment”
People who oppose sensible things like anti-harassment policies at conferences keep bringing up the same tired myths about dating, sex, and romance: that it’s very important to have “mystery” and that...
View ArticleHow to Have Sex Like They Do in the Movies
My recent post on consent got me thinking about how open communication about sex isn’t just important because it establishes consent, but also because it’s what makes sex great. A man meets a...
View ArticleEvangelical Apathy
You might think that the people who annoy me the most are those who hold views I strongly disagree with. Actually, though, it’s the people who don’t really care one way or the other, and–this is the...
View ArticleThere Is No Universal Definition Of “Cheating”
A very disturbing thing I found here. Every time I read a women’s website or magazine these days, I come upon a headline that demands to know, “IS THIS CHEATING?!?!” Is sending flirty Facebook messages...
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